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 I don't think I can live with my DH like this any longer!

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Bete'avon!
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PostSubject: I don't think I can live with my DH like this any longer!   Fri Oct 12, 2007 1:05 am

Crumbs in my butter, tamari with wheat in it, separate mayo jars, questionable peanut butter, where does it end?????scratch lol!

So how long did it take you to reform your non Celiac spouse? Do you still separate things or do you both share a GF life together? It is just too hard for me, I don't know wiether to invite friends over and cook all my gluten infested food for them, or to just give it away to them. Not all keep kosher or care about organics, so I think it would be a waste.

Not sure what to do except this has to end!!!affraid Very Happy
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HadassahSukkot

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PostSubject: Re: I don't think I can live with my DH like this any longer!   Mon Oct 15, 2007 1:12 pm

Well, to be honest, DH and I had a long talk about it, because truth be told, if you have topical reactions to wheat, you have to abstain from certain wedded marital blisses for about 2 weeks (or more) if he eats something with gluten.

He found that one of his Uncle Ben's rice blends that he likes to have as a convenience food has changed recipe and now has wheat included due to it being pre-cooked with "broth"..

All I can think is thank goodness he caught it, or I would have had some serious problems Mad

We made the agreement last year he will go gluten free so we have no issues and there have been some hiccups before I moved here, but he seems to be doing ok thus far.

The tiniest little bit of gluten throws me, so if I go to visit relatives I have to bring things.... literally everything, and buy extras if I am staying a while (like butter, jelly etc) - and make sure they do not touch it.

My mom's extended family thinks we're making it up except for one aunt that is an RN. she knows we're serious, but she hasn't seen what happens when we get glutened.

I live above a bakery (really the worst place ever for me) and I have topical reactions from touching gluten, bandaids and even medical tape being off limits.. I had to tell the doctor at the OB/reg doc that I couldn't have one when she drew blood. I got a strange look, but it is better than a bad rash and three layers of skin being affected!

When mom had my sister go GF, she and dad weren't long behind, which meant my brother and I were told we could buy things and keep it in a drawer that had gluten, but could not cook gluten containing items at home... or cross-contaminate things, so I learned that part early on..

There are some people who are not so successful with their diets in my former Celiac support group who live in a double home and are constantly cross contaminating their kitchen.. it's frustrating to try and explain to them how important their health is and they pass it off as "just a little gluten"..

I had to tell my MIL (I still do not think she gets it) that it's like being given 'Just a little poison' each time, and it really hurts my intestines in such a bad way.. now that I am pregnant it is imperative I do well on the diet, or I can miscarry. That in and of itself is a scary thought.. Shocked

One day she'll spend enough time with me (probably post natal care) and will notice I'm totally not kidding.. Suspect I hope.

Big hugs to you. I'm sure if you don't tell him exactly that things are gluten free but just change the cooking and ask him what he thinks, he won't notice right off.

DH hasn't been complaining one bit, and has been a peach, even making comments such as "If I knew before we got married that you cooked this well, I would have made SURE that we got married sooner" lol!

And here I am really re-learning everything as far as breads and cookies/cakes. I didn't do it at home because our kitchen was just too crowded to learn and I was under so much stress with work and wedding planning/move planning that I couldn't retain it all... so apparently I'm learning well, or the mistakes are bearable lol!

When people come over, I cook. No one has complained, not my inlaws, and not DH's friends.. his best friend said his wife needs to come over and learn from me Laughing I didn't know whether to say thank you or hit him upside the head for insulting his wife's cooking.. Laughing
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Bete'avon!
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PostSubject: Re: I don't think I can live with my DH like this any longer!   Mon Oct 15, 2007 4:42 pm

It was me , not him, Smile I thought I could keep cooking the GF ( gluten filled ) things for him so as not to deprive him and also because I am worried that he won't get the proper nutrition. He said, "I'll eat what you eat". So it wasn't him, just things we are learning about we still have, like I have Hellmans' mayo for me while he still has the Kraft ( which I like best). This Shabbat I made lasagna for our oneg at lunch for everyone. I was supposed to steam some Amy's rice Mac and cheese for myself, but forgot to as we were discussing the parsha so thoroughly that I forgot! So I just had salad and my GF muffins I made. Everyone said the lasagna was great, but I made them take it home with them ( the leftovers) and I also gave the ladies, about 6-7 grocery bags full of baking items, pastas, ( and I just had found some Hebrew alef-bets shapes to make Alef-bet soup with! ), and other items, like marinades and pickles.

But while making the lasagna, I thought it would be best to not boil it, but to make it from the dry pasta. The recipe I looked over said to wet it first, so I did, I threw it in a pan with warm water and then took it out. But doing this I realized I could contaminate many things with this, including the dish towel. I did get sick after this so it could be. So I am glad I am emptying out my cupboards of anything not GF, it makes it easier for me to cook, and gives me more room for my GF stuff.

One of my friends likes to bring things and know about this but really doesn't understand I guess. She brought cornbread made with bisquick. Rolling Eyes I had already made the tomato herb biscuits, but passed out hers too. I am afraid of leftover crumbs coming back to haunt me though! affraid

They really don't understand I guess, nor did my DH. I try and explain it like a war, since he was in the service, and is a Vet. That the gluten is the enemy, and as soon as the villi perceive he is out there, they attack, but blindly and don't realize in their fevor to get rid of the enemy, they turn on themselves and it is like 'friendly fire' and the body gets attacked too. The pain and diaheria are just the smoke and boom of the firing but the real damage lies in the wasteland of the battlefield , when the smoke clears you see the true devistation, where your insides are destroyed.

No
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PostSubject: Re: I don't think I can live with my DH like this any longer!   Mon Oct 15, 2007 11:35 pm

((Hugs)) I know what you mean. My MIL cooks GF for us and then doesn't think twice about cross contamination...

It takes time to learn it all, so try to not freak out too much, ado do what you can and adjust as you can... otherwise you will not only tire yourself out but drive yourself up the wall... and stress is as bad on the system as Gluten. Mad

I'm still learning that one..! Rolling Eyes
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PostSubject: Re: I don't think I can live with my DH like this any longer!   Wed Oct 17, 2007 6:52 pm

I think I am stressing a bit, I feel like, 'That's it, I am not eating anything anymore! " Shocked Laughing

I am wondering if I should go down to just, GF cereal, and then only kefir and brown rice with some plain veggies for awhile, does that help?

I have rearranged my kitchen, and had my husband kasher the one section where I used to bake bread. He already cleaned my machine and I made dough in there and nothing happened so good, but I then realized that when I used the machine sometimes when I started it up I didn't close right away to check on mosture levels, and when I left it open a big Poff of flour would come out when it started up! I also took all offenders out of the cupboards and put in a box. My friends and aquiantances sure are making out right now, all my products are Kosher and many, many are organic.

I feel sometimes like I am in a bubble, or should be. Being a VPP isn't fun or easy. silent
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PostSubject: Re: I don't think I can live with my DH like this any longer!   Tue Oct 30, 2007 10:32 am

Well, it helped me having cereal around at first so I did well, but there are equally good recipes out there for breakfast muffins, breads etc that can get you through the morning if you are used to a heavier meal first thing.

If it is colder I tend to want something warm, or that I can warm up, but during spring and summer I want only cereal for the most part... LOL that is if I am eating breakfast.

Envirokidz had some awesome GF cereals that I loved chowing down on, and now I can find only one GF cereal here that I can somewhat tolerate - plain corn flakes.. and I'm the typa person who loves eating cereal any time of day and in various types... from Capt'n Crunch to Smacks... Honey bunches of Oats.. Cherrios, Frosted Flakes... Lucky Charms... and now all of that is off limits... and I have a hard time dealing with it.

in the USA we had alternatives to the 'name brand' that were GF. Here.. I basically have to go lick a tree or decide I will eat a big meal instead or stick to some of the same stuff over and over.

We did find a chocolate hazelnut millet cereal I might can snack on, it has an aftertaste so I haven't risked eating it just yet other than to check flavor... Not sure if it would transition well with milk or not. Suspect

With me 'running' most mornings (I leave the house at 6:30) after being awake only 30 minutes, I tend to not get hungry until the first break of my classes around 9am.. So I tend to eat something easily digestible and transportable. The last week it was pretzels one day (home made) and fruit most others.
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PostSubject: Re: I don't think I can live with my DH like this any longer!   Sat Nov 03, 2007 3:54 pm

Yes, I love Environkidz cereals, in fact I just tried the Panda puffs, they aren't as Peanut-buttery as I had hoped and I had them with bananas, something my grandmother used to conconct because she was always low in potassium so the Dr had her on one a day bananas. Smile

One thing I will say for them is that they sure stay crunchy in milk the whole time! In fact you should be careful because they are so hard the roof of my mouth is sore from biting down wrong at first.

My fav cereal was just plain ol cheerios, I didn't like the frosted or any other similar kinds like the apple version. I just liked the taste of the wholesome oats. Now I have to find an alterrnative, I miss them.

I used to just skip b'fast but now find my self hungrey more often so eat something.
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PostSubject: Re: I don't think I can live with my DH like this any longer!   Sun Nov 04, 2007 6:34 am

I know what you mean! Me too!!

Maybe I can get myself feeling better and have some corn-flakes that I will pretend are frosted flakes (LOL)

I miss envirokidz. I think I let mine soak about a minute in the wright's dairy milk before I started eating mine, exactly for the same reasons you mentioned - they're tough on the roof of your mouth!
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